Baby blues – what is it? How to cope?

You have just given birth to your beautiful, long-awaited, healthy baby. You should be happy because the whole family is happy and they don’t understand why you’re not excited about it. You don’t understand it either, because it’s not what you expected. Instead of feeling sorry for a sweet baby, you cry, have mood swings, are irritable and sad. You have baby blues.

Baby blues – what is this?

In the first days after childbirth, women’s hormones often go crazy. Mood swings are the order of the day, and tears sometimes flow for no reason. This condition, known as baby blues , occurs in the first few days after birth and is the most common form of depressed mood. It is estimated that 50 to 80 percent of all mothers suffer from sadness and tearfulness in the first week after giving birth. Suddenly they are extremely exhausted, sad or tired. They do not enjoy anything, and crying accompanies them every day.

So, if you have had a baby and, instead of the expected feeling of happiness, you feel great sadness and cry over trivialities, you are not alone. All of this is too much for you and you are afraid that you will not be able to cope with the new challenge. It’s as if all the good thoughts that had been with you during the nine months of your pregnancy just didn’t come true. But don’t worry, it’s normal for not every mother to be happy in the first few days after giving birth. During and after childbirth, most women confront feelings they didn’t know before and could never really imagine.

Baby blues – symptoms

When postpartum sadness occurs, young mothers experience unexpected bursts of crying. It is precisely postpartum crying that is the most common symptom of baby blues . Instead of bursting with joy and laughing to the baby, the new mom feels:

anxiety
frustration
sad
mood swings.

He also suffers from insomnia and general fatigue. Some women experience these symptoms for only a few minutes a day, while others have to endure them for a few hours.

Why do women have baby blues after giving birth?

While the reasons for baby blues postpartum are still not fully understood, there are several explanations. Hormonal changes during pregnancy and again after giving birth can lead to mood swings and depression. In fact, levels of estrogen and progesterone drop dramatically after having a baby. Postpartum fatigue , sleep disturbances, body changes, baby needs, breastfeeding difficulties, puerperium and the feeling that life will never be the same again all affect a woman’s mood.

Add to that the guilt or pressure of society that suggests you feel immediately connected with your baby. There may also be a concern that your relationship with your partner after the birth will be no longer what it used to be. You may also feel unhappy with your appearance. Fortunately, these negative feelings should become less intense and should disappear completely within two weeks of giving birth. At this point, you will gradually get used to the new routine and finally find peace of mind.

Baby blues after giving birth – how long does it last?

In general, baby blues symptoms appear 3 to 4 days after giving birth. They usually disappear after a few days, but after a week at the latest. If symptoms persist for more than two weeks, consult a psychologist. Prolonged sadness and crying along with other symptoms may suggest postnatal depression.

Baby blues and postnatal depression

Where does baby blues end and where does postnatal depression begin? It is not that easy to define unequivocally. Of course, the duration of the symptoms is important here. If your tearfulness and sadness last too long and persist, it’s time to face them and get help from a professional. Disturbed sleep is also an important indicator of postpartum depression . However, it is hard to expect that a woman gets a good night’s sleep after giving birth. All mothers of newborns have interrupted sleep, sleep too short. Therefore, it is better to look for an answer to the question of whether a mother can sleep when her child is asleep? A “healthy” mother immediately falls asleep again, because her body needs regeneration. In contrast, a woman with postnatal depression will suffer from insomnia and trouble falling asleep.

In addition, depressed women do not want to be visited and even withdraw completely from interactions with others. They do not even want to look after the baby, pretend to go to the gynecologist and pediatrician for check-ups, avoid contact with their partner. Therefore, in the diagnosis of postpartum depression, the key factor is how a woman perceives her own energy after giving birth.

Can she enjoy her baby regardless of mood swings?
Does she feel anything positive when she looks at her baby?
Does she have the strength to eat , get dressed, take care of yourself?

If there is no internal connection with your baby at all, this is an alarm signal. Some mothers experience severe anxiety, including panic attacks and even thoughts of suicide. Many affected mothers show the first signs of depression before or during pregnancy.

Baby blues in men

It is widely accepted that baby blues only applies to mothers who have had babies. Meanwhile, even young fathers can fall into a deep state of emotional sadness after giving birth. Experts assume that about 5-10 percent of men are affected, so their disorder is often unnoticed.

Why can fathers suffer from baby blues when they are not undergoing hormonal changes? Possible reasons include changes in everyday living conditions. It is also a certain degree of uncertainty in how to deal with the child, overwork, a feeling of neglect by a partner or isolation. In addition, there is a lack of sleep when the baby cries at night and dissatisfaction with the existing stereotypes of parental roles. If the father’s sadness continues, it can turn into a depressive disorder.

Baby blues – how to cope?

Being a parent changes everything: days, nights, work and leisure relationships, and partnership. Needless to say, in addition to all the joy, difficulties and disappointments can also arise. Couples should therefore not view pre-natal expectations as certainty that will happen. Many of the things that used to be ideas of great parenting become questionable after giving birth. Problems with getting used to the new everyday life of a young family, often to the unknown life of the mother or father, and the responsibilities associated with it, are completely normal.

The best way to deal with baby blues is to talk to someone about your negative feelings, whether it’s your partner, parent or sister. Many women keep their feelings to themselves, which only increases the sense of isolation and increases tearfulness. Family, friends or your partner can look after you and help you recover. If someone offers to help you – be it cooking, ironing or cleaning – say yes. It is important that you do not go through this difficult time alone. It is also very important to exchange experiences with other young mothers and fathers who have gone through similar situations.

However, if you do not have anyone to talk to, do not want to confide in your feelings to your friend or do not know if you have actually been touched by baby blues , make an appointment with a psychologist. You can benefit from very flexible conversations with an online psychologist. Support from a specialist can be a very important part of your recovery from postpartum sadness. It is important to seek help in a timely manner. If negative feelings such as fear, depressed mood, melancholy, tearfulness, etc. persist for more than two weeks, don’t hesitate and make an appointment with a therapist right away.

Drop the pressure!

If you have the opportunity, get out of the house. You can take your child for a walk or visit a loved one. Try to take even short walks at least once a day, because fresh air and new surroundings can wonderfully improve your mood.

Another way to feel better is to use a little ‘freedom’. Don’t refuse other people’s help. If your mother or mother-in-law or partner wants to stay with the baby, let them do so. Treat yourself to something pleasant because you’ve finally given life to a little person, so you deserve the best! Pamper yourself with something that makes you feel good. A new handbag, a visit to a beautician, a professional massage, a nice dinner with a candlelight partner, a meeting with a friend in a cafe, and even a long, hot shower or a bath in fragrant foam – do something for yourself that will give you joy and a sense of relaxation.

Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Remember it’s okay when things don’t go perfectly well as expected. There is no such thing as a perfect parent or a perfect child. You will need some time to recover from the birth , as well as time to assume the new role of mother and get used to your new responsibilities such as breastfeeding, waking up at night, etc. You are not a robot. programmable, so take the time to adjust to the new life stage.

Don’t neglect your personal life!

Of course, it all starts with the newborn baby. Parents should not forget, however, that they are not “only” mom and dad, but also partners in a relationship. Not only the child requires care, but also the relationship between a man and a woman, nurturing what was built up before childbirth. Plan some time during the day or evening to spend alone with your partner. These moments can prove to be an invaluable time to relax.

Also involve the child’s father in caring for the newborn. Any help is a relief for you, allowing you to rest and recover faster. Mutual limitations, demands and reproaches can overshadow the happiness of the parents and the child. If there are problems that you cannot solve on your own, regardless of whether they concern the parental, emotional or intimate spheres, it is always worth going to a psychologist for help. Underestimating the troubles of everyday life has a negative impact on the relationship and can lead to separation. Therefore, prompt intervention by a specialist can save the family from breakup.